Ranking of the Best Funny Secret Santa Gift Ideas: Our Top 10, Scored Out of 20
Here is our ranking of the 10 best funny Secret Santa gift ideas, each scored out of 20 on four criteria: the laugh when unwrapped, usefulness after Christmas, price, and the risk of offending. On the podium: the Beard Sponge (19/20), the mug with a message (17/20) and the ugly Christmas sweater (16/20).
A ranking is more useful than a loose list. When you look for a funny Secret Santa gift, you want to know what actually works, not only what exists. So we scored every idea out of 20, with 5 points per criterion: does it get a laugh when opened, is it still in use in February, does it fit a classic Secret Santa budget of €10 to €20, and can you give it to anyone without offending. The ranking holds for a Secret Santa between friends, family or coworkers. Two ideas come from us, the other eight are classics you will find anywhere.
No.1The Beard Sponge: 19/20
Laugh: 5/5. Usefulness: 5/5. Price: 5/5. Zero risk: 4/5. The Beard Sponge is a sponge that picks up beard hair in the sink in a single pass. When unwrapped, everyone gets the joke in a second, especially if the person lives with a partner. After Christmas it gets used every morning, it is reusable and it costs €9.99, with a "buy 2 get 1 free" offer on the product page. More than 7 million views on TikTok and 4.8/5 from over 1,300 reviews. The only point lost: the person needs a beard, otherwise the joke falls flat.
No.2The passive aggressive mug: 17/20
Laugh: 4/5. Usefulness: 5/5. Price: 5/5. Zero risk: 3/5. A mug with a line that fits the person, "Not before my second coffee" or "This meeting could have been an email". It gets everyone laughing and stays on the desk or in the kitchen for years. About ten euros. It loses points on risk: a line that is too sharp can land badly, so pick the kind one.
No.3The ugly Christmas sweater: 16/20
Laugh: 5/5. Usefulness: 3/5. Price: 4/5. Zero risk: 4/5. The great classic. Cross eyed reindeer, knitted tinsel, sometimes built in lights. It gets a laugh the moment it comes out of the paper and it is worn that same evening for the photo. Between €15 and €25. It loses points on usefulness: after the Christmas dinner it sleeps in the wardrobe until next year. Get the right size, that is the detail that changes everything.
No.4The beard bib with suction cups: 16/20
Laugh: 5/5. Usefulness: 5/5. Price: 3/5. Zero risk: 3/5. The beard bib attaches to the mirror or sink and catches all the hair while trimming. The image of a bearded man with a bib under his chin cracks up the whole table, and at home it is the object that ends the complaints about the sink. It loses points on price, €29.99, a little above most Secret Santa budgets unless several of you chip in, and like the Beard Sponge it needs a beard on the receiving end.
No.5Animal slippers: 15/20
Laugh: 4/5. Usefulness: 4/5. Price: 4/5. Zero risk: 3/5. Slippers shaped like a shark, a dinosaur or monster feet. They are ridiculous, so they are funny, and contrary to what you might think, they get worn all winter because they are warm. Between €15 and €25. Think about shoe size and the person's style: someone very serious may never put them on.
No.6The impossible puzzle: 14/20
Laugh: 4/5. Usefulness: 3/5. Price: 4/5. Zero risk: 3/5. A 1,000 piece puzzle that is entirely white, or with an absurd image. The look on the person's face when they realise what awaits them is worth it. Between €10 and €20. It loses points because many people will never finish it, but for someone patient it is dozens of hours of winter entertainment.
No.7The blanket with sleeves: 14/20
Laugh: 3/5. Usefulness: 5/5. Price: 3/5. Zero risk: 3/5. The blanket you slip your arms into, or the hooded version. It looks like a joke, and it becomes the thing they never leave on the sofa from December to March. Between €20 and €30, so a bit expensive for a small budget. The laugh is average when unwrapped, but it climbs as soon as the person tries it on in front of everyone.
No.8The book with an absurd title: 13/20
Laugh: 4/5. Usefulness: 2/5. Price: 4/5. Zero risk: 3/5. There are entire books on the art of talking to your cat, on the most boring bridges in the country or on how to survive a Monday. The title gets a laugh, the book ends up on the coffee table and restarts the joke at every visit. Between €10 and €15. It loses on usefulness: few people actually read it.
No.9The ice scraper glove: 12/20
Laugh: 3/5. Usefulness: 4/5. Price: 5/5. Zero risk: 2/5. A thick glove with a scraper at the end, to de ice the windscreen without freezing your fingers. Under €10. It raises a smile more than a laugh, and it loses points because it is useless to someone without a car or who lives somewhere warm. But for the right person, it is the most used Secret Santa gift of January.
No.10The Russian doll gift: 11/20
Laugh: 5/5. Usefulness: 1/5. Price: 4/5. Zero risk: 1/5. A tiny gift wrapped in a box, itself wrapped in a bigger box, ten times over. When unwrapped, the fit of laughter is guaranteed, and the more the person gets annoyed, the more the room laughs. It comes last because the gag is the only gift: still put a real small object in the centre, one of the other nine in this ranking for example. And avoid it with someone who has little patience.
How to choose
If you keep only one criterion, keep usefulness: a funny gift that is still in use in February is a successful gift, the others end up in a cupboard. For a bearded person, number 1 in the ranking, the Beard Sponge, ticks everything and fits every budget. For someone you barely know, stay with the mug or the sweater, which target nobody. For a close friend or a long time colleague, you can also move from the joke to the keepsake with an item engraved with their name among our personalized beard accessories. We also made an office specific selection in our article on funny Secret Santa gifts for coworkers. And if you give the Beard Sponge, slip in the link to our guide on how to clean beard hair in the sink and shower, the person will thank you twice.
See the Beard SpongeFrequently asked questions
What is the best funny Secret Santa gift?
In our ranking it is the Beard Sponge, with 19/20: it gets a laugh when unwrapped, it is used every morning to pick up beard hair in the sink, it costs €9.99 and it offends nobody. For someone without a beard, the mug with a message comes right behind with 17/20.
How did you score the gifts in this ranking?
Each idea gets up to 5 points on four criteria: the laugh when unwrapped, usefulness after Christmas, fitting a Secret Santa budget of €10 to €20, and the risk of offending the person. The final score is out of 20.
What budget for a funny Secret Santa gift?
Most groups set between €10 and €20. Seven ideas in this ranking fit that range. The beard bib and the blanket with sleeves go slightly over, they work if the budget is bigger or if several of you chip in.
Can a funny gift offend?
Yes, if the joke targets looks, age or a sensitive subject. The gifts that score best on this criterion are those that laugh at a situation, the sink full of hair, the morning coffee, and not at the person.